The Linus Incident

It was the summer of 2008, I had to do some things before going to work so I was out and about. But there was a problem, I got that feeling in my lower gut. You know the feeling, your bodies nice little way of letting you know that it needs to, shall we say, drop a fat Duce. But I had another problem. I am not a public-pooper. In fact I could probably count the times that I have number-two'd in public over the last few years on the 10 fingers available to me. But what could I do? I didn't have time to run home and carry out my business in comfort. This left me two options. Wait and reliev myself at work, or do it at whatever store happened to be closest. I however worked at a smoothie joint with no public bathroom, just a small employee one, and I worked almost exclusively with girls. Out of the question. The embaressment would kill me, (even though I would likely be the only one to notice). So the poor store it was. The victem? Barnes&noble of all places. But I was in there anyway, filling my head with poetry and prose of the highest stature. As I entered the mens room an overwhelming aroma beset my senses. I was not the first. I entered the stall furthest in the corner (which happened to be the handicapped stall) I sat down and on the floor was a megaman battle network manga. I attempted to read it, but it just sucked. (that really has nothing to do with the story, I just take any chance I get to extole the superiority of any other megaman franchise over battle net. But I digress) I was nearly done with my business when I heard footsteps enter the mens room. Then, To my distress, I heard The footsteps walking my way. But no worry, I though to myself, the lock on the door will protect my pride. Well... I no longer put all my trust in meer locks. I guess the lock was broken, or perhaps God just hated me a little that day, but in came another man. The look of confusion and embaressment on his face mirrord my thoughts. He paused' not sure what to do. If only I had kept reading the crappy book so I would have had something with which to conceal my manhood... But alas, I was seen in full form. Without saying anything, he slowly backed up and dissapeared. I heard him take care of some business of his own, and then go to wash up. I was at this point quite finished, but there's no way I could leave before he did. Luckily he was finished and on his way out. But before he made his exit, he left me with a final thought. "I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOUR LINUS!" he announced elequently before dissapearing forever. I then made a hasty retreat. If he saw me as I was exiting, his brain posessed by images he would try his hardest to block out, I will never know. I was so dreading meeting him again that I almost ran out of the store. And guess what, I ended up having enough time to stop at home after all. Awesome...

Genises.

So here it is. My blog.
I have always fancied the idea of blogging, but I could never think of what I should blog about. But then I realized, Odd things happen to me. Really odd things... These are the chronicles of those things, this is my story.